Classic 70s and 80s desserts taste test: THE RETURN

You know how we enjoyed testing out some classic no-make puddings from childhood recently? Well, I thought it was time to do it again. There were so many classics that I'd neglected so it was really only fair that we gave them a go. Here are this week's contenders:

Clockwise from top left: Tinned peaches and evaporated milk, Vienetta, jelly mousse, and ice cream with Ice Magic sauce

1. Tinned peaches in evaporated milk. What even is evaporated milk though? Google tells me that it's milk with the water evaporated out of it. But it's still wet so I don't get it. Condensed milk is, incidentally, the same thing but with lots of added sugar. I'm ok with condensed milk - it has a purpose (making caramely things). Evaporated milk's purpose appears to be to be served with tinned peaches (and bread and butter if you believe my friend. What sort of horror childhood she encountered I don't know).

2. Vienetta. Needs no introduction really. Basically the classiest dessert that the 80s had to offer. You were a) probably rich and b) lucky beyond your wildest dreams if this got served in your household.

3. Jelly mousse. This is the wildcard because it didn't come pre-made. You had to make it yourself (method: Make up a jelly with only half a pint of water, leave it until it's nearly set then make up a packet of Dream Topping and whisk it into the jelly. Leave in the fridge to set for a couple of hours). Big favourite of mums who wanted to impress at birthday parties. Best with lemon jelly but I went for raspberry because that was all we had in the cupboard. Felt like I should decorate it with fresh raspberries but nobody ever had them in the 80s so I spunked a load of hundreds and thousands all over it as tradition dictates.

4. Vanilla ice cream with Ice Magic. I had to cheat because Ice Magic no longer exists. I know, I am sad about this too. I had to use an imposter called 'Crackin' made by Askeys.

My brave volunteers couldn't wait this time (remember, these oddballs actually enjoyed fruit cocktail out of a tin last time and spurned butterscotch Angel Delight, so I should really find myself some new testers TBH).

1. Tinned peaches in evaporated milk:

Man: "This is another classic from my Nanny's house."

Boy: "I love tinned peaches, we get them at school."

Man: "Wait..."

Boy: "I'm just..."

*everyone turns green and runs for the bin to spit their mouthful out*

Me: "Do you want some bread with that?"

Verdict: No.

***there had to be a short break here while everyone fought back their nausea and composed themselves***

2. Vienetta

Boy: "I'm going to need the biggest bit of that."

Man: "Always a classic. Satisfying crack to the chocolate as you bite through it...creamy ice cream..."
Boy: "This is delicious."

Man: "This was the poshest ice cream ever in 1985."

Me: "Doesn't really taste of much if I'm honest, but I am feeling so fancy right now."

Verdict: Apparently like crack to children but doesn't actually taste of anything. Needs to be eaten with those little dessert forks for full effect.

3. Jelly mousse

Boy: "You know I don't like mousse..."
Me: "This is special 80s mousse. Try it."
Man: "Oh my God, that's sweet;

Me: "You live on sugar."

Man: "But this is even too sweet for me."

Boy: *is stuffing it in his face as if he hasn't already eaten 2 puddings*

Verdict: Very very very sweet. Children still impressed. Tastes like birthday parties to me. Makes you feel like a real mum when you make it.

4. Vanilla ice cream with (fake) Ice Magic

*everyone gathers around to watch the magical setting chocolate sauce*

Me: "Is it actually doing anything?"

Man: "Hmmmm."

Boy: "It's got a sort of skin on it."

Me: "It's definitely set a bit."

*time passes*
Me: "OK, I think that's it."

Man: "Didn't ice magic used to set completely hard like a shell?"
Me: "I think it did."

Man: "This is like...rubbery stuff. That tastes of lard."
Me (checking label): "That's the main ingredient."

Boy: "I'll eat it."

Verdict: Do not buy the crappy, knock-off Ice Magic. It doesn't set - probably because use of liquid nitrogen in food got banned in the 90s or something. It also tastes like slightly chocolatey fat. The child still ate it though.

Got any other retro delights you'd like us to test? Let me know and I'll make it happen.