Cheese Ball

 

To set the scene, it’s New Year’s Eve (2020 style) and you have a hot date with a pair of pyjamas and a jigsaw. You feel the need to add a little something to the celebration. You also feel the need to avoid doing any housework whatsoever and need a displacement activity. What are you going to do? You’re going to knock up this retro ball of gelatinous lard to eat later, that’s what.

Cheese balls were a mid century staple of the cheese and wine night. You’ll be happy to hear that they are easy to make and don’t have to be served with a bottle of Blue Nun (although do consider this if you’re after authenticity and/or Covid has damaged your tastebuds).

Let’s assemble some ingredients:

You will need:

A tub of full fat cream cheese

200g strong grated cheese (I used extra nature cheddar)

A bit of shallot, onion or garlic 

Worcestershire sauce

Aaaaaand...it’s time to bring out that bottle of cheap Aldi whisky again. 

You will also need some crunchy stuff for later. Much googling suggests that it’s not really important what the crunchy stuff is. I used toasted chopped almonds and chives.

Method:

1. Dump the cream cheese, grated cheese, 2 teaspoons of Worcestershire sauce, a little bit of grated shallot/garlic/whatever And a generous splash of whisky into a bowl. By the way, all photos for this recipe will be taking place in front of my kitchen window because the rest of the kitchen currently looks like a bin.

2. Get your hand blender out and blend the lot together until smooth-ish. Eat a celebratory cherry liqueur chocolate because it’s still sort of Christmas.

3. Dollop the mixture into the centre of some cling film and try not to think of dog sick.

4. Form the whole thing into a ball by gathering the cling film up and twisting it at the top. Wrap this in foil and put it in the fridge to firm up for a few hours.

5. Later on, assemble your crunchy stuff. I used toasted chopped almonds, chives and salt and pepper but you can use anything. Crunchy bacon bits, fried breadcrumbs or crispy fried onions  would work well. Put crunchy gubbins on a plate and roll your unwrapped cheese ball all over it so that it gets covered in crunchy bits. You are aiming for the effect of kicking it across a pub carpet at closing time.

6. Serve with crudités and eat.

This was actually very good. Shockingly so considering the ingredients. Booze and cheese forever. Try not to eat the entire thing at once - it will keep in the fridge for a few days so you’ve got no excuse really. And wash it down with more liqueur chocolates because we’ve got to get our kicks where we can at the moment.