Monday, 17 July 2017

Cheeseburger Pie

I thought it was about time we had a bit more brown on the blog, so I bought some mince and asked everyone for their best (worst) 70s and 80s mince based recipes. This one was the clear winner for sheer WTFery and its bold use of lurid processed cheese.

"My mum and dad ate this when staying with friends in the States at some point in the 70s and decided to introduce it to the Midlands," says my friend Nick with a shudder. They should have left it where they found it, and to be honest I wouldn't even feel safe with those 4,000 miles between me and it."

Now there's a recommendation. Lets do this.

Serves: 4 people

Preparation time: 40 minutes


250g mince
Half an onion, chopped
Worcestershire sauce
2 tomatoes
packet of processed cheese slices (DING DING DING. Classic horrible 70s ingredient alert)
60g plain flour
1 egg
220ml milk
pinch of salt
teaspoon baking powder
teaspoon sugar
gherkins, tomato ketchup and American style mustard (to serve)


1. Preheat the oven to 220 degrees. Fry the chopped onion in a little oil until translucent, then add the mince and cook until brown. Season with Worcestershire sauce.

So far, so good. Nothing to see here.
2. Meanwhile, whisk up a batter using the flour, baking powder, milk, egg and sugar.

This looks pretty innocuous too.
3. Put the mince and onion mixture into a shallow dish. I mean, this is fine at the moment. Nothing bad has happened and we're all pretty relaxed. Top with the sliced tomatoes.

Yep, can get on board with this.
4. You know that batter you made? You're going to use it to bastardize the mince and tomatoes. Pour it over the lot whilst questioning your life choices.

Jesus, WHY?
5. Add insult to injury by plastering the lot with plastic cheese slices.

6. Put it in the oven for 30 minutes whilst perusing your collection of takeaway menus. You're probably going to need those.

7. In theory, when it comes out of the oven, the batter is supposed to have formed a sort of crust on the bottom. Or the top. Nobody's exactly sure where the crust is supposed to be, but there should be one somewhere. In my case, there were ugly crusty bits all over the shop and flecks of sludgy batter throughout the entire dish.

8. Slice and garnish with sliced gherkins, tomato ketchup and American style mustard. I chose to present mine with a side salad of iceberg lettuce and a little radish rose, because it is 1983 and carving salad into pleasing shapes is how I spend my time now.

I love it when my food looks radioactive.

I thought it tasted OK, but lets be honest; I lost sight of what tastes acceptable about 3 recipes ago plus I'm on the sort of diet that makes you so hungry that you'd consider eating your own young. My fellow taste tester said it was "quite nice" (whilst backing away looking scared). Over to you lot.

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